Many people have phobias or things they extremely dislike. Me? Well, my fears are pretty standard stuff really: Bugs, airplane crashes and time traveling robots from the future that come back to enslave humanity. You know, the usual.
But there's one thing I really don't like: touching bugs and spiders.
Insects and spiders on their own, not making physical contact with me? No problem. Now, put my finger on that bug and I'm freaking out halfway to Hysterical-ville (wait, is it too late to rename this blog?).
So when you read through the timeline below, you'll understand why I'm still traumatized and may have trouble sleeping tonight:
5:45 pm - Roches go to grocery store to get some essentials (chips & queso)
6:18:00 pm - While walking out into parking lot, Justin apparently steps into spider web.
6:18:05 pm - Justin, remembering he is only afraid of touching spiders, not necessarily the proteinaceous spider silk extruded from their spinnerets (thank you Wikipedia), wipes off the webs, jokingly remarks "Great, now I'll have a spider hiding on my body the rest of the day," and moves undaunted toward the minivan.
9:27:00 pm - Sitting on the couch, Justin feels something run across his stomach, looks down and sees a small spider scurry toward his shorts.
9:27:02 pm - Justin blacks out
9:30 pm - Justin regains consciousness and the spider is captured in a tissue. Justin then sits silently in horror at the thought that this spider may have been on him for more than THREE HOURS.
10:14 pm - Justin convinces himself that the two spider instances are isolated incidents to save himself from the sheer terror that 1) it could have been on his body that long and 2) that his hygiene is at a level that he wouldn't notice such an event until the spider revealed himself an eighth of a day later.
10: 34 pm - Justin feels something else while sitting on the couch, only to find it's a half-eaten Cheez-it cracker, which he finishes off to console himself.
So, as part of my public service announcement, make sure yourself for stow-away spiders (or Cheez-its) before you go to bed.
I wonder if there are spiders out there that are afraid of touching humans. Maybe we could team up, face our phobias together and form a crime-fighting duo.
Hey, I've seen worse things on TV...
2 comments:
Great, now I feel like the spider is on ME.
I've never seen a touching spider before - but they must be clever devils to be able to touch you that much without your knowledge or consent. He probably deserved to die. The NERVE of some spiders! :)
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