Disclaimer: I abhor potty humor. That being said, I apologize in advance for the reference material below and the use of the word "poop," "urine" and all other synonyms for animal waste. They are pertinent to the story and a necessary evil. Also, I want everyone to share in our plight. Welcome to Rocheville.
One of our cats has a problem, or rather he has a habit that is becoming our problem.
For some reason, he has decided he's too good to use the litter box. I don't like this decision because I had to spend money to buy this box, the sole purpose of which is for the cats to do their "business." I normally don't buy things that are certain to contain animal waste products, which is why I struggle with purchasing hot dogs too.
But we're also tired of cleaning up the mess, and after trying new litter, we resigned to buying a new box. So, more money spent to serve as a storage unit for cat waste.
There are exactly 46 different options for cat litter boxes at the pet store. How many different versions do you possibly need to collect cat poop? What makes one bucket better than another? Unless one comes with a personal assistant to scoop the box for me, I'll stay clear of the "top of the line" models, thank you very much.
After settling on a "reasonable" price for a box, I came home to set it up. The directions, in my mind, should have been pretty simple:
1) Turn box open-side up
2) Fill with cat litter
3) Wait for cats to poop in it
4) Clean box and realize you are on the losing end of this arrangement
5) Repeat
But, I was taken aback by the following label on one of the box's packages. Check out the second bullet point:
"Destroy Bag Completely?!" It's not enough for me to just throw it away? What is so dangerous about this bag that it has to be completely destroyed? Does the government know about this lethal bag, and if so, shouldn't they use it for warfare with terrorists instead of accompanying cat litter boxes? How would a regular consumer like myself be able to destroy something completely? I very rarely do things 100% anyway...
So, if you have a spare atom smasher that you want to loan me, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise, I'm going to throw the bag away, lest it fall into the wrong hands and cause worldwide destruction. Then again, if our cat refuses to use the new box, the "Danger Bag" could come in handy...
One of our cats has a problem, or rather he has a habit that is becoming our problem.
For some reason, he has decided he's too good to use the litter box. I don't like this decision because I had to spend money to buy this box, the sole purpose of which is for the cats to do their "business." I normally don't buy things that are certain to contain animal waste products, which is why I struggle with purchasing hot dogs too.
But we're also tired of cleaning up the mess, and after trying new litter, we resigned to buying a new box. So, more money spent to serve as a storage unit for cat waste.
There are exactly 46 different options for cat litter boxes at the pet store. How many different versions do you possibly need to collect cat poop? What makes one bucket better than another? Unless one comes with a personal assistant to scoop the box for me, I'll stay clear of the "top of the line" models, thank you very much.
After settling on a "reasonable" price for a box, I came home to set it up. The directions, in my mind, should have been pretty simple:
1) Turn box open-side up
2) Fill with cat litter
3) Wait for cats to poop in it
4) Clean box and realize you are on the losing end of this arrangement
5) Repeat
But, I was taken aback by the following label on one of the box's packages. Check out the second bullet point:
"Destroy Bag Completely?!" It's not enough for me to just throw it away? What is so dangerous about this bag that it has to be completely destroyed? Does the government know about this lethal bag, and if so, shouldn't they use it for warfare with terrorists instead of accompanying cat litter boxes? How would a regular consumer like myself be able to destroy something completely? I very rarely do things 100% anyway...
So, if you have a spare atom smasher that you want to loan me, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise, I'm going to throw the bag away, lest it fall into the wrong hands and cause worldwide destruction. Then again, if our cat refuses to use the new box, the "Danger Bag" could come in handy...
No comments:
Post a Comment