My wife makes wonderful dinners. Sometimes those dinners are consumed in an entire evening, if I'm feeling a little gluttonous (which is my usual state of being).
But if there is any food left, my brain (and subsequently my mouth) say, "Boy, that was tasty! I'm going to eat that again in less than 24 hours!" and I plan on taking the leftovers to work for lunch the next day.
That is "7 pm Justin." Alert. Awake. Optimistic about what tomorrow holds.
Enter "7 am Justin," the next morning. He is a different character. Drowsy. Stumbling. Optimistic about his chances after a cup of coffee.
"7 am Justin" often forgets what "7 pm Justin" planned for lunch. "7 am Justin" is lucky to put on matching socks. "7 am Justin" always forgets the leftovers.
Prime example: Last night "7 pm Justin" enjoyed the ham, bean and spinach soup his wife made. It's awesome. His wife even put some in a separate container, to make it easier to take it to work. His wife understands "7 am Justin" and his shortcomings.
This morning "7 am Justin" was about to leave for work. His wife reminded him about the soup. He took it out of the fridge, put it on the counter, and promptly left for work, sans soup.
After a cup of coffee, which does miracles for "7 am Justin," he remembers the soup and sends an apologetic text message to his wife.
Moral of the story: Do not trust "7 am Justin." Don't trust "7 pm Justin" either, but at least he'll eat what you cook.
6 comments:
Or, could it be that 7am Justin and 7pm Justin are secretly in cahoots? Classically depicted as adveraries, let's say for the sake of argument, that 7pm Justin really *didn't* care for the soup in question. How could he avoid having it a second time? By playing off the perceived sweet naivete of 7am Justin, that's how.
"Whoops! I can't believe that silly goof 7am Justin forgot his lunch again! Oh well, guess I'll just have to get a Baconater from Wendy's, doo dee doo..."
Are you insinuating that Justin, be it am or pm, would not like my soup? Tsk tsk.
All I'm saying is that a man's heart is a dark, dark place and you might not want to know the lengths we would go to for a Baconater.
The almighty power of the Baconater not withstanding, I think this is more of a classic dyad that exists in the heart of man: half good, half evil, constantly striving for dominance and yet ever dependent upon the other in a strange, symbiotic relationship.
"8 am Justin" - after coffee
Wait, wait, wait.
Who's this "8am Justin" character? Is there a Justin for every hour of the day?
Don't mess with us. We're more powerful and numerous than you realize.
-"4:39 pm Justin"
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